


Perish, My Love

by AdlanielRachel



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Shadowhunters (TV) RPF, The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments (Movies) RPF, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cat's Eyes, Confession, Emeraude Tobia, Faithful - Freeform, Fluff, Freeform, Harry Shum Jr - Freeform, Idris - Freeform, Isabelle Lightwood - Freeform, Last Breathe, Love, M/M, Malec, Matthew Daddario - Freeform, Max Lightwood Bane - Freeform, Parting, Putting Glamor off, Rafael Lightwood Bane - Freeform, Shadowhunters - Freeform, alexander lightwood, character's death, cuteness, magnus bane - Freeform, never ending love, the mortal instruments - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 17:35:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11902728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdlanielRachel/pseuds/AdlanielRachel
Summary: Years had passed. People had walked paths they had not ventured. So many things had changed. But, love remained faithful. It was painful to watch couples walked pass, every passing moment was like a dream and like a path Magnus would want to experience again. However, he had remained faithful even if the pain had been too terrible to bear because he could not love anyone again after he had experience almost decades of pure love from his one and only faithful lover, Alexander Lightwood.





	Perish, My Love

**Author's Note:**

> There is a character death in this story. Continue with caution and please don't be angry with me.  
> I hope you enjoyed the story.  
> Kudos if you like and comments are always welcome.

Love. What is love? I love you too much to even re-understand the meaning you have taught me, Alexander. Too much.

The clock had been chiming for the past ten minutes signifying that it is already ten in the morning. At this hour, the streets were busy, the birds had been chirping, chatters had filled the air of a life Magnus had so used too but there were so many things he missed out of the beauty of Mother Nature. He missed the sound of closing bathroom doors, the showers running, the soft clanging of pots and spoons, the sound of settling cups on the table and even the sound of light footsteps on the carpets. The usual scent of sunflowers and berries no longer filled the air. They were so empty just like the missing puzzle which had been invading most of the space in Magnus’ heart. His eyes darted back and forth from the kitchen towards the window. His mind was playing a beautiful image he hopes he could still witness. His one and only Shadowhunter lover, Alexander Lightwood walking across the kitchens, choosing their favourite coffee preference for the day. His tall slender body leaning across the kitchen counter to get sugar and spoons. His movements swift like the invisible air, his speech were so angelic that Magnus could sleep between them. There were like lullabies. As the clock let out another chime to remind its owner that it is already fifteen minutes after ten, Magnus dragged him out of the memories he had. He let out a soft sigh as he arranged his steps towards the kitchen to wash his cup. He would have slipped off into the realms with Alexander if it wasn’t for their two lovely sons, Magnus had promised Alexander to take care of, to nurture them to the better.

Alexander had accompanied Magnus through the decades of his life, brought him happiness Magnus had never felt off and show him things Magnus had never felt or seen. Even though Magnus had lived for centuries, watched his friends and families passed, experienced the worst; those things were nothing compare to his shattering heart. He still remembered the pain and torment in his soul when he had watched Alexander lay on the bed limp and cold. It had been a normal day for Magnus to go to work but he was disrupted by a sudden call by Isabelle. Without wasting much time, Magnus had picked up the call only to receive news he had hope he listened wrong for once. He dropped whatever he was doing and raced towards the hospital in Idris. Magnus knew that death is a part of a Shadowhunter’s life, that even they were half angels, they were meant to pass this life like normal mundanes do.

Alexander was on a trip to visit his family when he had collapsed in between the meeting. Magnus hoped he had been there to accompany his lover for the past few minutes. That day, Magnus had an important client so he had left both Max and Rafael, their sons to Alexander so that they could all visit their aunts and uncles with the rest of their cousins. That was then, the angels decided it was time for Alexander to leave the human world and join the angels. Upon reaching there, Magnus watched as his old age lover, in his usual black clothes lying limp in the bed with a blanket draped across his body. His white hair was neatly pushed to the side by her younger sister, Isabelle. Both Isabelle and Jace had left the room the minute Magnus walked in. Slowly, Magnus settled himself down on the bed next to Alexander brushing his fingers across those white hairs. Magnus had watched Alexander age slowly as years passed, how those black hair had slowly turn white. He even remembered some of the conversation they had about it.

“I hate these.” Alexander mumbled as he looked into the mirror combing his hair backwards as he turned only to come face to face with Magnus. Refusing to meet his gaze, Alexander looked away.

“What’s the matter, husband?” Magnus asked and when he had tilted his head to the side he noticed the streaks of white hair which had been growing. Of course , it had hurt Magnus internally to know that as each passing day, Alexander would grow old and leave him but he still plastered a smile on his face. Slowly, he reached out holding onto his husband’s hand stroking them gently; “You always look wonderful and I like them Alexander.”

“I am getting old, Magnus and I fear for what I had been thinking ever since we had our first kiss, Mr. Barge My Wedding.” Alexander spoke half joking. His blue eyes looking at Magnus leaning down to kiss his husband’s lips.

“We know we cannot escape that, my lover.” Magnus spoke in a soft tone stroking his lover’s cheeks, “Let’s cherish the time we have together so that we will remember these wonderful memories alright.” Magnus assured wrapping his arms around Alexander’s waist only to earn a tight hug from his lover.

Alexander had awaked minutes after Magnus had arrived. His arms reaching out to pat his lover’s hand gently to assure him he is awake. Magnus tighten his grip onto his palms looking out. Alec had smiled, a beautiful smile Magnus could not compare with anything. They were real and genuine filled with nothing but love. His heart ached to see Alexander laying down on the bed knowing any moment that he might fade away. Magnus smiled as he stroked his lover’s palms gently in his.  
Alexander’s usual blue shimmering eyes had been clouded, almost sending him away. Each breath he took was painful, consuming his lungs away from continue working. His heart ached to know that this would be the last time he would be able to see Magnus again. He forced a smile on his lips.

“Magnus.” He called out. His voice was raspy and broken, “Magnus. Live on. I will always be with you. My heart and soul will always be with you. I promise. I can’t leave you anything but the blessings for your continuous lives.”

Magnus breathe in the air. His eyes were almost tearing up but he blinked away the tears tightening his grip onto Alexander’s palms. A smile formed on his lips unwillingly.

“You gave me more than I could ever ask for Alexander.” Magnus spoke, his voice was broken but he tried to contain it.

“I love you, Magnus. If you ever find someone who could make you happy again…”

“No, Alexander. No. I won’t. I can’t.”

Alexander said nothing but he tightens his grip on Magnus’ palms.

“Magnus. You need to move on with Max and Rafael. You can’t hold on to me forever.”

“But, I can. I want to hold you till the day death consumes me. I do not want anyone else. I only want you Alexander. Ever since we had hold onto to our marriage vows, I had made up my mind not to choose anyone else. I cannot do it. I only love you, Alexander Lightwood. No one else.” Magnus spoke containing those stubborn tears which were threatening to fall from his eyes.  
Alexander smiled reaching up to run his palms on his lover’s hair for one last time brushing among those glitters and colours.

“I am glad we ever met, Magnus.” Alexander spoke, his blue eyes looked into Magnus’ brown eyes, “Just one last time. Can I see?”

“You do not have to ask. You are the only one ever who can have the closet view to it, Alexander.” Magnus answered as he put of his glamour. His cat’s eyes shone as he gazed towards Alexander. It made his husband smile. That was more than anything he would wanted to see now.

“Thank you Magnus. Thank you for everything.”

Magnus leaned down leaning his forehead onto his lover as both his palms find their ways on Alexander’s cheeks stroking them. His eyes gazing into Alexander’s blue eyes lovingly. Magnus could still hear his husband’s heart beat ever so slowly, his breathe had been so slow and calm that Magnus fear he would lose him. The fact, he is already losing him.

“You don’t say. You had been the best and forever will be. Please forgive me. I cannot fulfill your request on finding another person, Alexander. Because I am yours and I will continue to find for you if you ever do come back one day in another life we were meant to meet. I would know. I love you too much to share myself with anyone. I do not need them. I need you. I want you and I love you.”

Alexander smiled at those words, his arms wrapped around his lover gently brushing his hair again.

“You are the best gift. I do not regret anything in my life.”

Just then, both Max and Rafael had walked into the room rushing next to their fathers. Isabelle stood by the door looking at Magnus giving him a sign that she had just went to get them. Magnus nodded as a ‘thank you’ sign before he moved allowing space for both his sons to meet their father. Magnus and Alexander had both watched how Max and Rafael grew up, trained them together, go to a camp and parties together. How can they forget it? Magnus noticed the tears which were already streaming down both his son’s cheeks and Alexander giving them advice hugging both of them so close. The grip was tight just like he had did to Magnus, not wanting to let go the best thing they both had created.  
When Alexander had wanted to meet Magnus again, he moved forward looking at him lovingly.

“I love you, Magnus. I knew there weren’t enough time to prove them all. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Alexander. I love you.”

As Magnus spoke he felt his husband’s grip go looser as both his arms fell to the side. Magnus knew his lover was gone, for the better of his own pain. His eyes fixated on Alexander’s limp figure and closed eyes. It was then Magnus let down his guard, tears poured from his eyes. There were so much emotion going in his mind. The anger for not be able to do something to pull Alexander away from being mortal. The love, the memories, were all jumbled up in a mixed up rubric cube. It was that day, Magnus kept himself away in the room Isabelle had showed, away from everyone, just himself. He needed some time alone. He promised himself that this will be the only time he would shed his tears. His heart broke and shattered into pieces. The image of not having Alexander broke his heart. The silence he would ever need to face again. The torments were he could not share anything with his husband again. So, that night, Magnus sat himself by the window losing himself into his own memories and dreams watching as the rain poured from the skies.  
During the funeral, Magnus had masked his expressions, promising himself that he would not cry again. He held true to his words. Ever since, there weren’t a single drop of tears poured from Magnus’ eyes but no one had known the sadness lingering in his mind, heart and soul. Even as years passed, Magnus had always been wearing black. They were shinny but Magnus had always kept his clothing black for the next few years. It was either black or dark blue. Once in a while, he would take glances at the ring Alexander had given him during their wedding, the other one when Alexander and him had bought it from one of their trips in Italy.

“Appa…” Max called out from behind before he had settled himself next to his father.

“Yes, my little blueberry.” Magnus called pulling himself away from his memories.

“Are you still thinking about daddy?” Max asked curiously, his eyes seemingly to know the answer.

“I always am, blueberry. I always am.”

Max smiled as he leaned forward hugging his father offering some comfort as Magnus brushed his son’s hair gently and lovingly pressing a kiss on his temple.

 

_I love you, Alexander and I will always take care of our sons. Forever._

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos if you like.  
> Any sorts of comments are welcome. In any base.


End file.
